| Stand out quotes from Kerry Katona |
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| 12:12pm 14/03/2007 |
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Not for the squeamish folks......
On giving birth to baby Heidi. In this weeks OK!
"It was 8.45am and I was lying in bed and felt a gush downstairs so I ran to the toilet, pulled my knickers down and it was like Niagra Falls...the carpet was soaked".
"I was well impressed when (Mark) watched the doctor putting his hand right up inside me, practically pulling my intestines out to pull the baby out. He said it was like the doctor was pulling a chicken out because she was covered in white stuff."
"I'm looking forward to getting pi**ed - even though I'm supposed to have done it all the way through my pregnancy and that's why my baby's so unfit".
"Do a Britney? What and shave my head? There is something I have shaved since I had the baby, but it definately wasn't my hair!" |
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| I finally paid off my student loan today |
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| 04:38pm 12/03/2007 |
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It has only taken me 11 years to pay it off.... |
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| And the rider request of the week goes to.... |
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| 01:23pm 20/11/2006 |
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....X for their dressing room request of A Shrine to David Hasselhoff, x4 pairs of boxer shorts and an international 'mystery' cheese. Guess who will be constructing the shrine...
KT gig was last night. Amazing. It's only Monday and I am knackered already. Only 7 more gigs to go! |
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| Union Chapel Gigs |
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| 07:43am 08/11/2006 |
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I've been organising the line-up for these gigs at The Union Chapel in Islington (I chose the venue having seen Tori play there a few years ago). Maybe see some of you Londoners there www.mencapmusic.org.uk |
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| Celebrity Looky Likeys |
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| 04:29pm 03/10/2006 |
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| Teenage bohemia |
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| 11:22am 14/09/2006 |
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music: the chronicles of a bohemian teenager
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Really enjoying this little record, which I've happened upon an advance copy of www.getcapewearcapefly.com/ |
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| Posh casualties and bourgeois excuses |
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| 11:02am 10/08/2006 |
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One of our ladies who lunch, bailed out of a meeting this morning because she "dropped a Tatler on her foot" and can't drive.
Thank god it wasn't Country Life, or she could have done herself some serious damage ("I slid on a pile of Country Life and have gone into traction. I'll never be able to dance the tango again...")
I reckon she's lying. It was a Gratton catalogue and she's too ashamed to admit it. |
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| In Answer to some questions posed by Bites_The_Sun |
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| 11:37am 27/07/2006 |
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1)What colour are your eyes?
Blue grey, kind of sea coloured
2)What wouldn't you be seen dead wearing?
A shell suit (unless I was doing it for a laugh). My friend Nancy and I used to love going into C&A as students and trying on all the tack clothing in their Clock House range and then collapsing in fits of laughter in the changing rooms at how absolutely hideous we looked.
3)Anything you'll never drink again?.
Vodka and cranberry juice mixed with beer (see blog entry for my 30th birthday, February 2004)
4)What country does your surname originate from?
Um, my surname is Alexander, so an ancient civilisation most probably.
5)Where haven't you been that you would like to go?
Marakkesh and New York
6)Favourite book? OK, a favourite book?
Oranges Are Not The Only Fruit by Jeanette Winterson or A Capote Reader by Truman Capote
7)What scares you more than anything?
Aging celebrities with too much plastic surgery
8)How long since your last 'serious' relationship?
I've been in one for two years, but there was a 7 year gap between the current and last 'serious' relationship. I had lots of fun in between though...
9)If you could be anywhere right now, where would you be?
Paradise beach, Mykonos
10)I shared my middle name. Please to share yours and make me feel better.
I don't have one
11)Five songs you couldn't live without?
Impossible! Especially hand-picking individual songs. If I were to switch on my Sony walkman right now though, mood-wise, I'd want to listen to the following songs:
The Hissing of Summer Lawns or Free Man in Paris - Joni Mitchell
I Don't Know What it Is - Rufus Wainwright
For Now - Avenue Q Soundtrack
Roam - The B-52's
Pink Sunshine - Fuzzbox
12)Five movies that make life worth living?
Again, difficult one...
Calamity Jane
Heavenly Creatures
Mommie Dearest
Beautiful Thing
Breakfast at Tiffanys |
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| Sur la plage |
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| 11:31pm 23/07/2006 |
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Dan and I went to Broadstairs today and played the how-many-old-people-can-we-pap-with-neil's-camera-phone game. How we laughed....
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| Charity Wankathon |
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| 02:43pm 21/07/2006 |
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This was mentioned in yesterday's Guardian. I soo wanted it to be some kind of clever, hilarious satire on the voluntary sector, but it's true. Life is infinately stranger than fiction....
For the very first time the Masturbate-a-thon is coming to the UK. After six successful years in San Francisco the event has finally arrived in Europe, and will this year take place in London, on Saturday 5th August 2006.
This is a charity event, intended to encourage people to explore safer sex, talk about masturbation and lift the taboos that still surround the subject, by coming to a public place and coming in a public place!
All money raised supports charities in the campaign for greater public understanding of and better services in HIV and sexual health.
Participants ask friends, colleagues and loved ones to sponsor them. The amount you raise will be determined by how many minutes you masturbate and/or how many orgasms you achieve. You can even ask sponsors to support you by making a single payment just for having the courage to come along on the day and take part.
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WHEN AND WHERE DOES IT TAKE PLACE?
The Masturbate-a-thon will be taking place between 2pm and 10pm on Saturday 5th August at:Drop Studios, 50-54 Clerkenwell, London, EC1M 5PS
Click Here for Map
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WHO CAN COME?
Anyone over the age of 18 can take part! People of both genders, all ages and sexual orientation masturbate...and every kind of person will be represented at the Masturbate-a-thon. Prejudice, disrespect and intolerance of other people are not acceptable - and anyone who displays such attitude WILL be asked to leave immediately.
Couples are welcome and encouraged but please keep your hands to yourself. The Masturbate-a-thon is promoting solo sex and we cannot allow people to participate in couple or group sex. This is considered a violation of privacy and there will be no exceptions.
The Masturbate-a-thon is about masturbation for a reason, and we want everyone who attends to help us send the message that masturbation is a positive, completely safe and erotic alternative, good for you, and just plain pleasurable!
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ON THE DAY
Once you have arrived at the location the door person will check your ID (you must be over 18 to enter the premises) and you will be asked to sign a form stating that you have read and understood the rules and regulations.
Once inside you will need to present your sponsorship form at reception. If you have sponsorship entry is free, if you do not have sponsorship the entry fee is £10.
There is a cloakroom area for you to leave coats, clothes or valuables..
We encourage people to enjoy the experience of being comfortable with their own and others' nakedness at the Masturbate-a-thon - but if you prefer to retain some clothing, that is also fine. Fully clothed people will not be allowed into rooms set aside for masturbation, however.
Once you have checked in your belongings please find your place in the relevant area for you. There are four main areas: The Comfort area, Women only area, Men only area and a mixed area. The areas are separated and you will not be able to view single-gender areas from the mixed area. We recommend that you spend some time in the Comfort area, which is a no masturbation zone, to acclimatise and get comfortable before proceeding to one of the other rooms.
The style inside is a comfortable Moroccan theme with plenty of pillows and recliner cushions. There will be relaxing music and plenty of visual stimulation to help you get in the mood. The environment is clean and padded with places to lie back all around the room. There are individual cubicles for those who prefer privacy. Fresh disposable paper sheets will be available for every participant. So will extra batteries and plenty of ID Lubricants.
Participants are welcome to bring and use their own toys as an aid to stimulation - but please do not share them or offer them to anyone else to use after you, as this constitutes a clear risk to you and others.
Please respect people's privacy. The single-gender areas are, obviously, only for people who identify themselves as that gender and the cubicles are for people who want to take part in the event but are only comfortable masturbating in private.
Once you are settled in we will assign a monitor to you. They will maintain your time sheet and determine minutes for your sponsors. If you would like to be considered for the "Most Orgasms" category please inform your monitor. Monitors are trained and will not be embarrassed by anything they witness in the rooms. Also - monitors are NOT voyeurs, so will not be watching you directly as you masturbate, but merely remaining at a discreet distance and recording the time you take for your sponsorship form.
The Masturbate-a-thon is a NO-ALCOHOL, NO-DRUGS event. Some food and drink will be available in the refreshments area. Anyone we believe to be under the influence will be asked to leave.
Any use of a non-approved camera (still or video), including mobile phones with camera facilities, by anyone anywhere at the venue will be considered a violation of privacy and the camera operator shall be required to surrender a memory card for reformatting or allow film to be exposed to the light prior to being asked to vacate the premises."
If you become disruptive, break the posted house rules, or touch anyone without permission, you will be asked to leave.
Once you have completed your time in one of the masturbation areas you can return to the Comfort Zone for further relaxation and to take refreshment, before collecting your clothing from the Cloakroom area. Your sponsorship form will be endorsed with a stamp to certify your participation and time taken or number of orgasms achieved, if relevant.
Sponsorship money should be collected as soon as possible, and be forwarded to the Masturbate-a-thon organisers within ONE MONTH. Please ONLY send cheques or postal orders made payable to Marie Stopes International. Do not send cash.
Your sponsorship money should be sent to: Department PRM, Marie Stopes International, 153-157 Cleveland Street, London W1T 6QW
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WHO WILL BENEFIT FROM THE MASTURBATE-A-THON?
Apart from those taking part, who should experience a wonderful sense of exhilaration, liberation and relaxation at having taken part in a ground breaking initiative that will help to promote sexual expression and freedom for all, two British registered sexual health charities will benefit from this event.
Marie Stopes International (Registered charity no: 265543) is the UK's leading sexual and reproductive health agency and also provides services and information in over 35 countries worldwide, helping an estimated 5 million people every year to control the size and spacing of their families and avoid from sexually transmitted infections and HIV/AIDS.
Terrence Higgins Trust (Registered charity : 288527) is the leading HIV and AIDS charity in the UK, and the largest in Europe. THT was one of the first charities to be set up in response to the HIV epidemic and has been at the forefront of the fight against HIV and AIDS ever since
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HISTORY OF THE MASTURBATE-A-THON
It all began in America. At the end of 1994 the Surgeon General Joycelyn Elders was made to resign after saying that she thought it would be beneficial to teach children about masturbation as part of sex education and that it should be more openly discussed.
"I think that it is something that is part of human sexuality and it's part of something that perhaps should be taught. But we've not even taught our children the very basics. And I feel that we have tried ignorance for a very long time and it's time we try education"
The public Masturbate-a-thon was originated by Dr Carol Queen and Dr Robert Lawrence in 2000, inspired by the work of Good Vibrations in San Francisco which has hosted these events for 10 years. These annual events are a public education device to increase the use of self pleasure as a strategy for safer sex and to de-stigmatise self-love.
Carol Queen is a sex educator, author and a doctor of human sexuality. She and her partner Robert Lawrence founded the Center for Sex and Culture as a non-profit organisation eight years ago. Dr Carol Queen has been a main influence in San Francisco's Sex Positive movement for over 20 years.
During the past six years, the Masturbate-a-thon has raised over $25,000 for women's health initiatives and HIV prevention, education and treatment organisations, and has contributed to debates about safer sex and alternative safe methods of sexual expression in the USA, in the face of harsh conservative opposition.
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ABOUT THE SPONSOR
ID Lubricants is the leading UK brand of personal lubricant and has been the number one selling personal lubricant in America since 1995. It is available throughout the UK in leading adult stores, as well as Internet shops and saunas.
A dedicated personal lubricants company, ID Lubricants (UK) offers the widest lubricant product range in Europe. These include the number one selling product ID Glide - a superb water-based lubricant that has a great natural feel; ID Millennium, a silicone-based lubricant renowned for its performance, longevity and non-sticky qualities; ID Pleasure, which is classic ID Glide with added zing which women report heightens sensation; and ID Sensation Warming Liquid, which warms on contact and is a great companion to ID Glide or ID Millennium when added sensation is desired. Also in the ID Lubricants range is ID Juicy Lube, the number one selling flavoured lubricant in the world and ID Cream, an oil-based lubricant, specifically developed for male masturbation.
With the range of ID Lubricants now available, ID promotes lubricants as sex toys in their own right, offering individuals a variety of sexual experiences. To accompany the product range, ID Lubricants (UK) also provides educational material in the form of the ID Guide to Sensationally Smooooth Sex and the ID Guide to Oral Sex.
For more information please visit www.idlube.co.uk
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PRESS RELEASE
COME FOR GOOD CAUSES!
Europe's first sponsored Masturbate-a-thon event in London
On Saturday 5th August Europe's very first Masturbate-a-thon will take place at Drop Studios in London. Participants ask friends and loved ones to sponsor them for a certain amount of money for every minute they masturbate during the Masturbate-A-Thon, or simply for having the nerve to turn up and take part!
In aid of global sexual and reproductive health agency Marie Stopes International and HIV/AIDS charity Terrence Higgins Trust, and sponsored by ID Lubricants (UK), the leading UK brand of personal lubricants, the event also aims to act as a public education device to increase the use of self pleasure as a strategy for safer sex. The Masturbate-a-thon seeks to raise awareness of, and dispel the shame and taboos that persist around, this most commonplace, natural and safe form of sexual activity.
Drop Studios will be transformed into a safe, comfortable and welcoming environment for participants, with soft lighting, softer furnishings, relaxing music and dedicated areas to suit all tastes, from solo booths, to men and women only group spaces and a mixed sex area for the truly adventurous.
"As a global family planning agency, at its core Marie Stopes International is concerned with promoting the individual's right to enjoy sex safely and, should they choose, without the risk of conception," said Marie Stopes International's Tony Kerridge.
"In our work all over the world, every day we see the consequences of fertile orgasms, in the form of unplanned pregnancies, unsafe abortions, sexually transmitted infections and HIV/AIDS. So it is absolutely right that we associate ourselves with this initiative to promote this risk and consequence free method of sexual expression."
ID Lubricants (UK) were asked to sponsor the event and Jane Bowles of ID highlights:
"We were delighted to 'come' on board. The use of personal lubricants such as ID is perfect as part of safer sex and masturbation. With ID Cream specifically developed for male masturbation and a variety of options available for male and/or female masturbation, such as ID Glide, ID Millennium and ID Pleasure to name but a few, people are sure to have sensationally smooth satisfaction. Lots of samples will be available at the event as well as educational literature and guides. So have some fun!"
The Masturbate-A-Thon is the brainchild to two American sexologists, Dr Carol Queen and Dr Robert Lawrence, and has run in the US for the past six years raising over $25,000 for women's health initiatives and HIV prevention, education and treatment organisations.
People of both genders and sexual orientations masturbate... and most will be represented at the Masturbate-a-thon! This means that if you are not comfortable in a space with people who may be different from you, this is not an appropriate space for you. All participants must be 18 or over.
If you would like to register to take part in the event, or to obtain further information and sponsor forms visit www.masturbate-a-thon.co.uk or call 0207 017 8764.
So come on. . . .don't be shy! You can come for good causes!
-ENDS-
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RULES
Official Masturbate-a-thon Rules and Regulations Participants must be18 (eighteen) years of age minimum to attend or assist the organisation or set-up of any such event.
Area requirements
1. Building and areas used must be legal to fire codes and occupancy.
2. Safer sex rules shall be visible from any part of the room.
3. Safer sex materials shall consist of:
a. Lubricant designed for sexual contact.
b. Both Latex and Nitrile gloves.
c. Antibacterial Wipes.
d. Paper towels
e. Condoms
4. Masturbation areas should have padded surface and clean paper sheets available.
5. There shall be clean toilets, sinks and hot/cold running water available for participants.
Staff
1. Cleaning personnel
All soiled materials collected shall be removed by qualified cleaning personnel wearing at the least: shoes and clean examination gloves.
2. Monitors
Monitors shall be responsible for maintaining a watch over participants to guarantee that pledged and competitive times are precise to the minute.
Monitors shall carry a clipboard to keep notes on time and consistency of self pleasuring.
Monitors will have a background in human sexuality study.
To Qualify for Masturbate-a-thon
1. All participants must bring along their sponsorship form. If do not have any sponsors you will be charged an entrance fee.
2. Participants may sponsor themselves.
3. All monies raised at the event will be sent to sex positive charities and organisations.
Masturbation Rules
1. No touching other participants.
2. NO FAKING ORGASMS! Do not waste our time. If you have an orgasm we are happy for you but this is not our goal.
3. No Drugs or Alcohol, and No Smoking.
This is a great place to meet adventurous and free-thinking individuals. However, please remember that masturbation is solo sex and although you may wish to interact with others, your advances may not be well received. Please respect everyone at the event and keep your hands to yourself.
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LINKS
www.MARIESTOPES.ORG.UK
www.IDLUBE.CO.UK
www.MASTURBATE-A-THON.COM
www.THT.ORG.UK |
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| 04:26pm 23/06/2006 |
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I went for a job interview yesterday, which I now feel was a complete and utter waste of time. As I was sat in reception waiting to go in, a guy I know - let's call him Nobby Nobbikins - comes out of the interview room, having obviously just been interviewed for the same job I'm going for. Nobby Nobbikins then proceeds to tell me that he's already been freelancing for the company for two months.
The job is obviously his.
What I want to know is why the f*ck did they set up the interviews up so that candidates going into the room could so easily bump into other bloody candidates? It reminded me of that Victoria Wood sketch about the actress going for an audition who says she's quite hopeful because she knows that, like her, she imagines her character would have dark hair, wear a beret and peach lipstick.
The camera pans in on 10 other actresses with dark hair, all sat in a line, wearing berets and peach lipstick.
In fact I just got a call while typing this to say I haven't got the job. It went to Nobby. I used the peach lipstick analogy on the woman who interviewed me. She laughed and said it had been a tough decision and that I gave a really good interview, usual story.
Well, at least they called rather than making me wait for a rejection letter... |
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| The good thing about Fridays... |
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| 03:38pm 16/06/2006 |
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..is that we get to finish at 4pm. So I'm going to pop to the Turkish barbers to get my head shaved, eyebrows trimmed, ear hair singed, follwed by obligatory "hot towel" on face. I hope they don't ask me about the football, because I've been avoiding it like the plague. Indeed I don't even know who England played last night and I couldn't give a shite either. They're all a bunch of brainless chavs if you ask me. After the haircut, I'm going to hop over to Holmes Place for a jacuzzi and steam and then its off to the Jerusalem Tavern in Farringdon for a quickie with Cesca - all very Carry On Jesus - though no doubt the quickie will turn into a longie. It always does... |
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| And me with the (old) doctor |
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| 03:07pm 16/06/2006 |
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| Toying with new paid account features.... |
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| 02:57pm 16/06/2006 |
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| I'm free... |
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| 10:53am 16/06/2006 |
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My boyfriend is leaving me alone in London this weekend. Any suggestions on how I can best make use of my time? |
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capote's journal
